


The lady doth protest too much, methinks

by MeanderingMotivation



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Crossdressing, Crushes, Deviates From Canon, Disguise, Dorks in Love, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Impersonation, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shaving, Someone Save Prompto, Tucking, corsets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:09:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12861345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeanderingMotivation/pseuds/MeanderingMotivation
Summary: When Lady Lunafreya goes missing days before her wedding to Noctis, Prompto finds himself roped into playing a rather embarrassing role.





	1. Why she was nowhere to be found

**Author's Note:**

> This really is crack treated (mostly) seriously. I am well aware of how ridiculous this story is, but I needed a little bit of crossdressing Prompto in my life :)
> 
> If you read ahead, you'll understand how I've tried to make this idea a little bit more realistic ;)
> 
> A little forewarning, if you are looking for beautifully tragic FFXV writing, you won't find it here. I'm sure there are many wonderful authors you can find such writing from, though! This is just a little (mostly) light-hearted stress relief! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this piece of trash :D

 

* * *

 

 

If someone asked Prompto what he’d be doing a week from now, he never would have guessed, even concussed from Gladiolus’s training, that he’d be sitting beside Noctis at a banquet, dressed in a white gown and chafing from a pair of silky underwear.

Nope. Not even the worst of concussed imaginings could provide him with that image.

Yet, here he was, perched at Noctis’s side, peering through a delicate white veil in place to supposedly shield his ‘delicate skin’ from the sunshine, despite them being _inside._

His hands, donned in soft gloves to hide callouses, were clasped gently in his lap, and he resisted the urge to bunch them in the fabric of his dress. No, _Luna’s_ dress. The Oracle’s belongings had been sent ahead of the envoy, big suitcases filled with fine silks and expensive shoes. They were residing in her own personal room, equipped with an en-suite and walk in wardrobe. It was Prompto’s place, at the moment, far superior to his rickety apartment…

But staying in a sweet luxury room wasn’t worth the current stress Prompto was feeling, surveying the masses of Lucian and Niflheim officials before him. Nobility was amongst them as well, with important citizens added to the mixture…

Basically, it was a personified version of Prompto’s nightmares. All of these people to witness his awkwardness, and worst of all, they were paying him their utmost attention, under the guise that he was actually the _Fair Oracle and Princess Lunafreya,_ here to _formalise her engagement to the Dashing Prince Noctis._

Cue aweing and swooning in equal amounts.

Yes, Prompto may have been jealous that Lunafreya got to marry Noctis, but he didn’t actually want to _become_ her, even as just an act. It was humiliating. The fact that he hadn’t been able to say no just made matters worse….

 

* * *

 

“What do you mean she’s missing!?” Gladiolus growled, even as Ignis shot him a look of thin-lipped disapproval. The chamberlain was standing to Noctis’s right, remaining strictly composed even as the prince buried his face in his hands, and Gladiolus lost his temper with the housekeeper of the Nox Fleuret Household.

The elderly lady winced at the looming shield, fidgeting anxiously. She was so frail, Noctis reckoned a strong gust of wind could knock her over. “Not missing, my lord. _Gone._ Lady Lunafreya left just prior to Lord Ravus returning to Tenebrae with his imperial forces.”

“And you allowed her to leave?” Ignis questioned, even as Gladiolus opened his mouth. “In full knowingness of what could become of her whilst she is alone and unguarded?”

The elderly lady seemed to straighten somewhat here, a trace of steel in her reedy voice. “I have faith in the Oracle, my lord. I trust her decisions. The Six watch over her.”

Noctis scoffed, looking up from his hands with a scowl. “The damned Six aren’t going to stop her from getting shot or stabbed or _who knows_ _what_ , out there alone.” He remembered well. Lunafreya placed too much faith in the Six. Her survival would more likely be related to luck and quick-thinking than divine interference. That woman, so reckless with her own destiny…

“The Oracle line will end if she dies, you know that right?” Gladiolus’s words had the woman flinching, and Ignis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“If I do recall, Lord Ravus still lives, Gladio.” Ignis’s voice was chiding, even as Gladiolus pulled a distasteful face at the mention of Lunafreya’s brother. The elder of the Nox Fleuret siblings had always been difficult to get along with.

“Yeah, but no one wants an Oracle with his genes.”

Noctis snorted, and Ignis cleared his throat pointedly.

Right. Focus. His beloved fiancée had run away, to, to-

“Is there a particular reason why Lady Lunafreya left on such an impromptu trip?” Ignis’s inquiry is calm, courteous. There is no demand. It’s a tactic he often uses to interrogate people. Well, Noctis calls it ‘interrogating’ but the recipient would be under the impression they were having a pleasant conversation with Ignis without any probing.

It works, yet again. The woman provides information without hesitance. “My lady…she has been out of sorts, lately.”

This has Noctis jerking up in his seat. The frantic woman had been ushered to one of the less frequently used meeting rooms upon her arrival, and he’d been the only one to sit down, his shield and retainer standing tall as they loomed over him dutifully. It made him sad to think that soon, he would be wed, and his friends wouldn’t be around as often…

Guiltily enough, he was kind of glad to realise the wedding would have to be postponed when Lunafreya did not arrive with the Niflheim guests. He wasn’t exactly counting down the minutes, after all. He may have cared deeply for his childhood friend, but he didn’t feel _ready_ to marry yet. Sure, they had communicated through various means since Luna’s apprehension, but they hadn’t spoken face-to-face in twelve years! _Twelve!_ And to make matters worse, this engagement was _completely_ rushed. Had no one heard of an extended engagement before? They weren’t exactly _uncommon_ in this day and age.

The thought of a honeymoon had Noctis shuddering. Not because Lunafreya was unattractive (as a matter of fact, she was the prettiest girl Noctis had ever seen, not that he’d say that aloud for fear of teasing or hurting Iris’s feelings) but because he couldn’t find it in himself to desire her that way.

It would be awkward. Even more awkward than when Ignis and his father delivered ‘The Talk’ to him when he celebrated his thirteenth birthday. Nothing said ‘Welcome to teen-hood!’ like a mortifying lecture that touched on nearly everything _except_ anal sex, the one thing he’d been thinking about more and more since he became friends with a certain chocobo-butt head since high school…

Luckily, Noctis had the internet for that. Ignis had removed the ‘safe-search’ filter from it when he turned fifteen. This had less to do with concern of Noctis accessing ‘adult websites’, and more to prevent him from being tempted into looking up Niflheim propaganda. Ignis was protective, and didn’t want that for him. He may have been stern about his prince attending to his duties, but he wanted him to have a genuine childhood for as long as possible. He was contradictory, in that way.

Gladiolus certainly had no inhibitions. He’d made crass jokes of a sexual nature the moment they had become aquatinted. He may have seemed like a gentleman, but he had a dirty mind like any man. Or, like _most_ men. Noctis had yet to see Ignis snigger at any such remarks. It was like such humour was below him.

Noctis just had a habit of blushing furiously whenever such jokes were made. He assured himself that once he lost his virginity, he’d feel more adept.

And here he was, trying to stall such an eventuality with Luna.

Confliction was a real bitch.

“Please elaborate, if you would.” To the casual observer, Ignis would sound composed, but to Gladio and Noctis, they could hear the worry in his voice. They knew him too well to be fooled by the civil walls he constructed around himself. They were the only ones. And Prompto, of course.

Noctis would have huffed if he wasn’t so worried about Luna. His best friend had foregone their usual Saturday of hanging out in lieu of photographing both the protesters _and_ the celebrators. He wanted to document this occasion, and likely sell a few shots to journalists unable to get a working pass into Insomnia. His hobby of photography had won out over duty to his friend.

Yes, Noctis was being dramatic, so sue his princely ass. Prompto was the only person who _always_ managed to brighten his day. He held none of the formal obligation of his other friends, and provided impartial company who never scolded Noctis for his sloppy training or skipping out on boring political meetings. Seriously, the last one had been about _sewer maintenance._ Was he a prince, or was he a plumber?

Perhaps he held a dual role. It seemed cleaning up other people’s shit was an essential part of ruling. His father seemed to be doing it often enough.

“She hasn’t been ill.” The woman assured, furrowing her wrinkled brow. Gladiolus makes sure her attention is focused on Ignis before rolling his eyes openly at Noctis. It would have been better for the woman to explain that in the first place.

Noctis relaxed visibly, and the tenseness in Ignis’s shoulders abated somewhat. He was better at hiding his emotions. It was why he was currently handling the questioning. Noctis would only get too emotional when talking about Luna…

“I am relieved to hear that. Lady Lunafreya is more than an Oracle, to us. She is family.”

The woman nodded her head in terse agreement. “Yes, she is. I’ve been the housekeeper for the Tenebrae Manor ever since her brother was a mere babe. She is like a daughter to me.”

Noctis was beginning to lose his patience. “Why that is _certainly_ relevant,” He ignored Ignis’s narrowed eyes at his blatant sarcasm. “I really am curious to know why _my betrothed,”_ He ignores how Gladiolus and Ignis widen their eyes slightly at that. He’d refrained from addressing Luna in such a manner before now. The title left a sour taste in his mouth. Not as unpleasant as carrots, luckily. “ _Left_ the safety of Tenebrae, as you claim she has.”

The subtle hint of Noctis’s distrust had the housekeeper bristling. “I do not lie, Prince. Lady Lunafreya left of her own accord. She was adamant about it, even in the face of my hesitation. I was…concerned about her leaving. About the trouble she’d be in when The Empire finally caught up with her.”

“Ravus would never let harm come to her.” Noctis spoke adamantly. Ravus may have been reduced to a silver-haired poodle, but he still bared his fangs when his sister was threatened. He loved her. She was his only remaining family, and a living reminder of the mother he still mourned so desolately. From what Noctis remembered of Sylva (which wasn’t a great deal, he’d always been so _tired_ back then) she held a gentleness much like her daughter. It didn’t extend to Ravus. Noctis had never even seen him smile.

“Be that as it may, Ravus can be detrimental to Lady Lunafreya’s health. Not her physical health, mind you, but her _mental_ health. He is so unlike his childhood self, and he fails to communicate with her the way a brother ought to. More often he’s like her superior, barking orders.”

‘Like a poodle.’ Gladiolus mouthed to Noctis, who hid a smirk behind his hand.

“He’s been…befuddled by her absent-mindedness of late. Usually Lady Lunafreya is so focused, always seeking counsel with Lady Gentiana, but she has had a soft smile on her face, humming, and writing secret letters.”

Noctis hadn’t received any such letters of late.

“When Lord Ravus discovered this, he accused her of sending confidential information to the enemy.” The woman shook her head with dismay. “Lady Lunafreya would _never._ She became quite distressed when he found out, even throwing the responses into the fireplace before Ravus could get his hands on them. They quarrelled, and he left the next morning in a great rage. He even stomped all over her lovely Sylleblossoms…”

Noctis remembered the gorgeous blue flowers that Lunafreya was so fond of. He knew she tended to her garden religiously. The fact that Ravus would trample them, knowing of her adoration, spoke volumes of his frustration with her. Luna always tried to remain so calm with Ravus, even when they were children and Ravus would get irritable...

The housekeeper suddenly seems ashamed, averting her eyes. “I…didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I was worried by the racket they were causing. I went upstairs to Lady Lunafreya’s quarters to see if she was alright, and I heard her say that she…” The woman smoothed out the creases of her homely dress. She hadn’t had the chance to dress more formally before she’d been hauled into a Niff Ship. Her apron was slightly stained from menial labour. Noctis could envision her in the kitchen, using a selection of Tenebrae’s finest vegetables to make a stew…

Had she been the one to make it when he visited as a child?

He couldn’t remember. Much of that trip was a blur to him. Trauma, Ignis had said, could do that to a person. It wasn’t unusual that he remembered some parts of the visit so keenly, and others only vaguely. He also had an injury he had been healing from, which made him tired and dazed often. Lunafreya had even spoon-fed him sometimes, which Noctis _wished_ he didn’t remember.

“Please go on.” Ignis encouraged, at her reluctance. “I assure you that we will not judge you for what you overheard.”

“Will you judge Lady Lunafreya?” Her eyes were lingering on Noctis guiltily. “I know the prince and her are engaged to be wed…”

“What does that have to-“ Noctis was interfered when Ignis let out a small ‘Oh’ of comprehension. He looked to the chamberlain for clarification, which Ignis gave after a short moment of thought.

“Love letters.” Ignis said, and the woman nodded. “Lady Lunafreya was corresponding with someone she believes she is in love with.”

“Lady Lunafreya does not ‘believe’!” The housekeeper said, rather hotly. It seemed Ignis was capable of misstep, after all. “I heard her say with the utmost passion that she **_loves_** this person! I may be old, but my hearing has yet to fail!”

Ignis hastened to amend his mistake. “I did not mean to invalidate her feelings. This merely comes as somewhat of a surprise to me.” He glanced to Gladiolus and Noctis, who were both gaping in shock. “I, of course, do not judge her for developing love for another. It isn’t unfair of her, considering the distance between her and Noctis.”

Noctis managed to speak up through his stunned silence. “I agree.” And he wasn’t lying. If he was harbouring an unrequited attraction for Prompto, than it wasn’t horrible of her to fall in love with someone else. If anything, it relieved some of Noctis’s guilt. He knew she didn’t love him in a romantic sense. There was no sense of betrayal, in this. It was…mutual. “I don’t resent her for this, Ma’am.”

“She said you wouldn’t.” The housekeeper imparted. “To Lord Ravus, before he left. She cares about you deeply, Prince. But…she did not want to marry you. Ravus informing her of the flimsy political engagement that been orchestrated without her consent bothered her immensely, and I believe with all my heart that _that_ is why she left. To seek out her true love and explain circumstances to them.”

“Ballsy.” Gladiolus’s sudden input had the woman frowning at his choice of wording. The shield had an expression of admiration on his face. “Sounds just like one of my romance novels. Who would have known the dedicated Oracle had it in her.”

Noctis knew she was braver than her serene countenance showed. Only a heart filled with undulated bravery would allow for herself to be willingly captured by Niflheim, just for the sake of not abandoning her brother. Lunafreya was courageous, not some feeble princess.

“Be that as it may,” Ignis pushed the conversation along dutifully. “Lady Lunafreya has disrupted the plans for a treaty. If Niflheim feels cheated, the negotiations will be much more difficult. I know the Chancellor described the union as a ‘trivial thing’, but The Empire _never_ has trivial demands. There is an ulterior motive for everything they do.”

Noctis could see Ignis’s brain whirling with possibilities, none of them good. Ceasing hostilities with Niflheim was a good thing, even if it stung their Lucian pride. Lunafreya had, with the best intentions, jeopardised this. It was uncharacteristic of her to flout her duties, even under the influence of love…

Noctis knew she wasn’t so selfish as to doom them all for the sake of her own love. No, Luna was too caring for that. She’d carry the weight of the world on her own slim shoulders, if she could, just to cease everyone else’s suffering. This, Noctis knew, was a small, selfish act she rightly deserved to indulge in. Once she came to Lucis, she would never see this mystery person again. She would devote herself, _body_ **_and_** _soul_ to Noctis. To do otherwise would seem a disservice, and cause unease in the kingdom. “She’ll come to Insomnia.” Noctis said surely. “Luna would never run away forever. She’s too noble for that. This is a small trip. Something she deserves.”

“Maybe we could stall for time.” Gladiolus suggested. “Say she’s caught some kind of sickness, and that she needs to recover before the wedding.”

“No.” Ignis refuted sharply, even as Noctis began to consider it. “If we tell the Niflheim convoy Lady Lunafreya is unwell, even under directions to keep the illness quiet, it will attract unwanted attention. Lady Lunafreya would still be under their ‘protection’, and they’d want to treat her personally. They’d be protective of their investment.”

Noctis clenched his fists. That was what Luna was to them. _A bargaining chip._

“You’d forego risking that for total honesty?” Gladiolus was disbelieving. “C’mon, Iggy. If the Niffs find out that Luna is gone, the treaty will go up in smoke. Fingers will be pointed and The Glaive will be back on the battlefield before anyone can say ‘cupped noodles’.”

“That’s assuming people don’t already know she’s gone.” Noctis pointed out, eyeing the housekeeper, who appeared more comfortable now she wasn’t under such rigid scrutiny. “Did anyone see them take you, Ma’am?”

The woman shook her head. “No. Only Lord Ravus and a handful of MT Units. He seemed worried about the consequences of her escape. I heard him tell Chancellor Izunia over the radio frequency that Lady Lunafreya was troubled by the sudden arrangement, and needed a night to come to terms with it. He seems a pleasant man, that Chancellor Izunia. He agreed immediately and wished both Lord Ravus and Lady Lunafreya well. He even arranged for our arrival to be kept private.”

“That does seem generous.” Ignis said, already questioning the man’s motives. Did he know? Or was he really just a ‘pleasant man’ like the housekeeper described? “And Lord Ravus instructed for you to be brought here?”

“Yes. He wanted me to explain matters before he sought counsel with the prince himself. Apparently he needed time to ‘prepare himself for Noctis’s insufferable idiocy’ before ‘subjecting himself to his presence’.” The woman appeared a little sheepish at repeating this. She may have seemed dubious about the prince, but she knew better than to be outright disrespectful. Little was known of Prince Noctis’s temperament.

But to her surprise, none of the three men seemed offended.

Gladiolus and Noctis laughed, and Ignis barely refrained from rolling his eyes.

“Just what you’d expect from Ravus.” Noctis chuckled. “Astrals, he’s an asshole.”

“I’d take care of how you describe the High Commander of the Niflheim Army.” A voice oozing with displeasure echoed throughout the chambers, and Noctis lurched in surprise. He looked to the door, which Ravus had managed to sneak through undetected. Judging by Gladiolus and Ignis’s slight jump, they hadn’t noticed his presence either.

It caused a deep-set glower to grace Gladiolus’s masculine features. He seemed to have some kind of one-sided rivalry with Ravus, who always regarded the shield with little to no respect or interest. Noctis knew this was less to do with Ravus’s rudeness and more about the man having the ability to best him in combat. Gladiolus _loathed_ losing on the battlefield.

The housekeeper stiffened at his sudden appearance, bowing her head deeply. “Lord Ravus.” She greeted reverently. “I told the prince what happened, as you requested.”

“And?” Ravus prompted expectantly, dual-coloured eyes trained on Ignis. He expected the chamberlain to have more legitimate ideas than his prince. Noctis was still immature in the ways of tactical planning, and Ravus knew it.

Still, his dismissal rubbed Noctis the wrong way. He may have been inexperienced, but he was still a Lucian prince. The _only_ Lucian prince. He demanded and _deserved_ respect. If his father were here, he’d be disappointed with Noctis’s lack of contribution… “And I’m surprised you were negligent enough to let her get away.” Noctis said, drawing an expression of ire from Ravus. The son of Tenebrae was a prideful creature. He didn’t like his failings being pointed out.

Gladiolus, however, appeared gleeful of Ravus’s reaction, angling a smug smirk at the former prince that practically _screamed_ ‘Hah! _Burn!’_

“The negligence was not mine.” Ravus got out from between gritted teeth, and the housekeeper shifted nervously, hearing the accusation in his vexed tone. “Lunafreya has never been so impulsive before. It was impossible to predict her actions. Now she’s out there alone, unarmed, rife for the taking! Any filthy rat from Galahd with a grudge could abduct her, and we would be none the wiser!” There’s worry edging onto Ravus’s icy features, and Noctis begins to understand why he seems so pissed off. He’s _scared._ Scared that his only remaining family member will be taken from him, and he won’t be able to prevent it. What was the use of all that training and humiliation if he can’t protect her? “She says she doesn’t fear death, but when I get my hands on her, she _will._ ”

Gladiolus let out a long whistle. “Wow. That’s one murderous tirade, Ravus. You aren’t exactly putting forward a convincing case for us to help. If you threaten her, she’s probably better off hiding away somewhere she can’t be found.”

“Fine.” Ravus hissed, eyes swimming with hostility. “Don’t assist me. I don’t need the help of a bunch of arrogant Lucians to find my sister. I merely thought considering the circumstances, it would be polite to inform you of our current situation.”

Yep. He was disappointed. Despite his confident words, Noctis knew that Ravus would be looking alone. He wouldn’t trust any Niffs to help him. That would be dangerous, after all. Who knew what punishment they would concoct for her?

But searching for Lunafreya alone in Lucis would be the equivalent of finding a black chocobo. Unlikely in the extreme, unless you had special assistance to track it down.

Luna was being purposefully elusive. Noctis doubted that they would find her. She’d return whilst they were still scouring the continent for her.

But Ravus wasn’t content to wait, and refusing to aid him in his search efforts would be rude and cruel. Or, as Noctis would put less-than-eloquently, ‘a dick move’. They may have had their differences, but they had one commonality between them: They _both_ loved Luna, and would do anything to see her safe and happy.

Lunafreya wouldn’t be happy in hearing of her brother’s solitary search efforts. She’d want Noctis to help support him, even if she’d never bring herself to ask. There was security in numbers, after all.

Noctis took a deep, steeling breath. “We would…” He started, and looked to Ignis for counsel. The man nodded in encouragement, making a vague ‘go on’ gesture with his gloved hands. “-Never.” He went on lamely. “ _Never_ turn away anyone in need of our assistance, Lord Ravus, especially in regards to our Oracle and my,” He gulped, the word coming out thick and awkward. “ _Betrothed._ I pledge my support to your search plans, and will personally handpick a selection of our most trustworthy soldiers to help locate your sister.”

“You will not join the search?”

“If Prince Noctis seemingly disappears during the peace talks, his absence will attract unwanted attention. It is his responsibility to stay here with his father.” Ignis said firmly. “Those who will be chosen will be individuals the prince trusts with his life.”

“I will go.” Gladiolus volunteers, unsurprisingly. “I’ll help supervise, and make sure _everyone,_ ” He looks pointedly at Ravus here.  “Follows orders. You can trust me, Noct.”

“As far as he can throw you.” Ravus muttered under his breath, but Ignis elected to ignore him as he addressed Gladiolus.

“No.” He denied swiftly. “Similarly, Clarus needs you here, Gladio. You are his eldest and his heir. Noctis requires your protection, also. The castle is currently swamped with Niflheim foreigners, they may be waiting for us to get complacent so they can launch an attack…”

 “You have a suspicious mind.” The housekeeper piped.

“It is part of my occupation to consider all possibilities, distasteful as some may be.”

Gladiolus grunted in begrudging assent. “I guess. But _one_ of us needs to go with the search party, Iggy. It makes more sense from a strategic standpoint. Even I know that.”

“I know.” Ignis agreed immediately. “Which is why we will send Prompto.”

“ _Prompto_?” Noctis repeated, practically choking on his own spit. “You want to deploy _Prompto?_ He’s never run a mission all by himself, he’s not even part of the Crownsguard yet!”

“I hardly want an inexperienced whelp assisting me.” Ravus seconded, and Noctis was (for once) grateful for the other male. “Send someone better. Unless you don’t think my sister deserves such consideration-“

“I do.” Noctis assured in a snap. “And I don’t intend to send Prompto. Not without one of us with him.” Ignis seemed to disagree, but Noctis shook his head stubbornly.

Ignis and Gladiolus had been training since early childhood for their roles.

Prompto was different.

He’d only _just_ finished rudimentary training with Gladiolus. He had yet to be posted to a truly difficult assignment! Sure, leading a search party with Ravus sounded tame and harmless, but if Noctis knew one thing about Prompto intimately well (Oh Astrals, how he’d love to know _all_ of him intimately) it was that the blond had a penchant for trouble, and complications would arise no matter _what_ the circumstance if Prompto were involved. It was a constant source of consternation for Cor, and one of the reasons why the blond had yet to be accepted into the Crownsguard…

That’s it.

“The Marshall will go.” Noctis decided, without another moments thought. “So will Monica. They will help run the search and retrieve mission with you, Lord Ravus. I’m sure Cor’s reputation precedes him…”

Ravus grimaced. “Indeed. The Brigadier General never shuts up about the blasted man. It’s positively tedious.”

“Maybe you can get Tummelt an autograph.” Gladiolus quipped, and Ravus, despite himself, gave a fleeting smirk at the suggestion. He may have been a Niff now, but that didn’t mean he held much fondness for his fellows. Loqi in particular, was especially insufferable. “That said, will Cor really want to leave Insomnia when so much is going down?”

“It’s not like he’s playing a big role at the moment.” Noctis shrugged. The man hadn’t been assigned to guard him, or his father, and the prince had yet to see him doing anything of real purpose. He was serving as a glorified babysitter for some of the envoy. “If anything, we’d be doing him a favour getting him away from the Chancellor.” Noctis had glimpsed the pair conversing once or twice, and Cor always looked a second short from strangling the flamboyant man. The Chancellor was such an odd character…

“We will of course require permission from the king.” Ignis reminded, knowing dropping the subject of Prompto would be wise. There would be no convincing Noctis or Ravus. He’d just wanted to provide Prompto with an opportunity to prove himself. It would do wonders for the blond’s self-esteem. He didn’t want that inferiority complex festering… “Although I’m sure King Regis will agree to our proposed plan.”

“That’s all well and good, but you still haven’t figured out how to excuse Lady Lunafreya.” The housekeeper pointed out, reminding the males of her presence once more. “Chancellor Izunia gave Lord Ravus a single night for Lady Lunafreya to adjust to her new circumstances. I doubt he’ll be willing to give her longer.”

Ignis gave an aggrieved sigh. “Indeed. A search effort is wasted if we cannot hide her absence. I can’t think up a logical course of action…”

“Maybe we’ll have to stray from logical, just this once.” Gladiolus patted Ignis on the back gruffly, causing the spectacles wearing man to jerk forward. “If there’s no foolproof plan, we’ll have to settle for something a little more reckless.”

Even the notion had Ignis wrinkling his nose delicately. Yet… “I concede.” Ignis sighed. “You have a point, Gladio. Loath I am to admit it…”

“Aw. You say the sweetest things.” 

It took all of Ignis’s ingrained composure not to whack the idiot shield upside the head.

Noctis knew that once Ravus and the housekeeper were gone, Gladiolus was in for it. It was always fun to watch the big brute get into trouble. So often it was just he and Prompto getting lectured from specs…

Prompto.

What would he say, if he were here? He’d probably make some kind of joke, and cause an international incident….

Noctis felt a surge of fondness at the thought. Prompto was ill-bred, in the _best_ of ways. He had no tact, and hadn’t been subjected to horrendous etiquette lessons. Much of the time, he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. It was very endearing. To Noctis, at least. Noctis knew Ignis would have a litany of other words to describe that trait, none of them complimentary. None of them, surprisingly enough, swear words. In all their years of knowing one another, Noctis had never heard Ignis cuss.

It was like he was an alien from one of the comic books he and Prompto read. Sometimes, he and the blond would make inside jokes about Ignis’s lack of humanity, not that the chamberlain ever seemed to comprehend their ‘silly prattling’, as he called it.

“So what’s the plan?” Noctis questioned, when the pair continued eyeing one another. “Should we try and say she’s sick, like Gladio recommended?”

“No.” Ravus denied instantly. “Doing that will cause far too much panic. The Empire wants Luna healthy and well. She’s nothing to them if she’s not.” Admitting that The Empire held no love for his sister seemed to grate Ravus, and his fists clenched. “We need to think of something smarter. Something bolder. Something no one will be expecting…”

The sudden sound of the door being pushed open caused the group to look at the entrance defensively, and Noctis relaxed when he saw it was only Prompto. He’d told the palace workers to always grant the blond access, even if he _was_ a commoner. Noctis wanted his best friend to always feel welcome in his life, even if they hardly ever hung out at the citadel. They usually chose Noctis’s apartment for lazing around. “Prompto.” He greeted, happy to see the familiar bright face of his best friend. Prompto would cheer him up. He always did. He was Noctis’s own personal ray of sunshine. “I thought you were….” He trailed off, for the first time noticing the shock of white protruding from his skull. “Prompto, what did you do to your _hair?”_

Prompto’s grin was sheepish, and he ran a hand through his changed locks. “I used a temporary dye potion to turn it silver. I wanted to blend in better with all of the protesters.” When Noctis blinked, uncomprehending, he went on. “Um, I may not be famous like you guys, but I still didn’t want to risk being recognized as a friend to the prince. Those dudes aren’t really fans of those employed by the king at the moment, not that I’m employed by the king…” He trailed off awkwardly. “But,” He recovered his cheery beam. “I got some _awesome_ photos! Vyv is gonna love what I captured…”

“Vyv?” Noctis repeated, with narrowed eyes. “Who the Ifrit is _Vyv?”_

Prompto was unaware of Noctis’s annoyance. “Dude, I told you yesterday on the phone! He’s the media mogul who owns _Meteor Publishing_!”

For once, Prompto’s excitement was _not_ contagious.

“Never heard of it. Not even once.”

“Well of course not!” Prompto laughed, a spirited sound that usually had Noctis melting. “He’s a journalist from outside of Insomnia! His company isn’t exactly relevant here, is it? He can’t even get a working pass inside of Insomnia, which is kind of a shame because I think Insomnia’s media needs to be expanded to better represent-“ He cut himself off abruptly, when he realised he was rambling, and seemed to notice Ravus and the housekeeper for the first time. His cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, and he gave the High Commander a hasty bow. “Uh, hi, Lord Ravus.” He waved when he straightened, throat bobbing as he gulped. “You look as….frightening as ever.”

Noctis was preparing to defend Prompto from a biting retort, but was left waiting when Ravus only stared with a miffed expression at Prompto’s hair. What, did they not dye their hair in Niflheim? That would explain why the Chancellor kept that weird burgundy colour…

“Your hair.” Ravus said, after a long moment. “It’s silver. Like mine.”

“Ha ha, yeah.” Evidently, Prompto was glad that Ravus wasn’t shouting at him. He plucked at a stray strand that was falling into his face. Over the last few months, Prompto had grown out his hair into a longer style. Noctis didn’t know whether the other male was too lazy to pay for a haircut, or if he was just experimenting with some new look. Either way, there had been no shortage of mockery from Gladiolus, who had taken to calling Prompto ‘Goldilocks’. “It _is_ a pretty similar tone.” He gave another laugh, though this one had a wheezy quality. He was unnerved by Ravus’s scrutiny. “We could even be brothers!” As soon as the words are out of his mouth (not thinking, as usual) Prompto pales, his freckles standing out in stark contrast with his pallid flesh. _Everyone_ knows Ravus is especially prickly about his family, and to even joke that a commoner like him could be part of the distinguished Nox Fleuret lineage…“Welp,” Prompto mumbled. “I’m just gonna die now. Nice knowing you guys.”

Noctis is preparing to draw from the Armiger when Ravus says something that makes even _Ignis’s_ jaw drop, momentary as the lapse is.

“Or,” The High Commander says slowly, contemplatively. “You could be my sister.”

Silence. Complete, slow-comprehending silence.

Not being privy to the earlier discussions, Prompto takes Ravus’s words as a jest. “Ha! Whoever said Niff’s don’t have a sense of humour!” He winked at Ravus playfully. “I like this guy, Noct! He’s funny!” When Noctis (and the others in the room) remained silent, his smile dropped. “Uh, guys? Did Lord Ravus’s unexpected joke break you all?”

Then, Igis nods his head once. Jerkily. “Doable.”

“Oh come on!” Noctis immediately protested. “There’s no way-“

“Isn’t there another young lady?” The housekeeper asked. “That you trust?”

“Iris!” Noctis blurted. “We can use Iris-“

“Oh no!” Gladiolus growled, crossing his arms. “I’m not putting my little sister in that kind of danger! She hasn’t even been fully trained!”

“And you propose we use _Prompto_ instead? That’s ridiculous!”

“I have…no idea what’s going on.” Prompto admitted.

 

* * *

 

 


	2. You're such a delicate boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If his, um, undergarments,” Noctis used the formal word for ‘underwear’ somewhat awkwardly. “Will create an outline in a dress or skirt, won’t his, um…” He trailed off, his own cheeks suddenly feeling rather heated. “His...” He made a vague gesture at his own lap. “Y’know.” 
> 
> Ravus frowned as he listened to Noctis waffle unintelligibly. “His penis.” He stated clinically, for clarification. “Is it his genitals that you are referring to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who couldn't stop themselves from writing another chapter of this trash? Me!
> 
> Oh, and thanks to you guys who commented. It really helped the process along :)
> 
> I had a heap of fun writing this chapter, and I hope you guys enjoy it, as well!

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I sound like a dude.” Prompto pointed out, somewhat desperately. “I look like a dude. I act like a dude. I fucking _scratch my balls_ like a dude!”

Ignis frowned. “That is vulgar, Prompto.”

“We all do it!” Prompto exclaimed, with exasperation. “We do it because we are _dudes.”_

“Not everyone behaves so crassly.” Ignis protested, rather affronted.

Ravus was impatient. “As entertaining as it is to watch you vouch for your scant masculinity-“

“Excuse me, _scant_?” Prompto scowled, no longer afraid of the Niflheim High Commander.

“You aren’t exactly a typical testosterone-fuelled male, even I can tell that. You’re hardly a man at all. You have yet to even grow facial hair.”

“How do you know that? You creepy stalker-“

“Not to mention the effort clearly put into styling your hair-“

“Hey, who’s to say what a typical man is.” Noctis immediately rushed to defend his friend, who had an expression dangerously close to a pout on his face. “Gender is flexible, isn’t it? You don’t have to be one particular way…”

“Well said, Highness.” Ignis said crisply. “Everyone is different, and we ought to respect that. We don’t tolerate any form of bullying in our ranks.” He shot Ravus a pointed look.

Ravus waved a gloved hand dismissively. “No matter. His claim on traditional masculinity is a trifle issue. With the right clothing and accessories, I believe he could pass for Lunafreya.”

This isn’t the first time Ravus has voiced such a thought, and Prompto rolls his eyes for the countless time since the discussion has begun. After an escalating argument amongst themselves, Ignis had had them all sit at the table to talk matters over, sending away the hassled housekeeper to her own room.

“We look nothing alike!” Prompto’s recurring rebuttal. “Just because my hair is dyed, it doesn’t mean I can pass as a fricking princess, dude!”

“Not with that attitude.”

“ _Ugh._ Noct, please talk some sense into Commander Delusional here.”

Alas, Noctis’s mind was preoccupied with other thoughts. He’d never imagined Prompto in female clothing before, but now that he pictured it, he supposed, with the right grooming-

No. He was _supposed_ to be standing up for his best friend, not forcing him into drag.

“Even with the right clothing and accessories,” Noctis said, trying for reasonable and mature. “Luna’s face is well-known. Prompto may be pretty, but he’s not _Luna_ pretty.”

Prompto scoffed. “Well thanks a _bunch,_ Noct. You’re so helpful and kind.”

“Prom, you know I didn’t mean it like that-“

“There used to be a tradition,” Ignis spoke up slowly, rendering the pair silent. “In Accordo, perhaps, where it was customary for a bride to veil her face until she was bode to kiss her groom. Only then would she reveal herself to her husband, and the rest of the world. Rather preposterous, but romantic, in a possessive sense.”

“Lunafreya already has a veil.” Ravus was quick to latch onto the idea. “It’s thick enough to conceal the majority of Prompto’s face. What is visible will not expose him…”

“And with a well-timed sore throat…” Ignis added thoughtfully.

“We are looking at a convincing stand-in!” Gladiolus finished triumphantly. The man had laughed uproariously at the idea at first, but had seemed to warm to it the more Ignis and Ravus discussed. That, or he just loved tormenting Prompto.

It was probably a mixture of both.

“My skin is all freckly!” Prompto was grasping at straws. “Luna’s is silky and smooth!”

“A bride must be modest.” Ignis quipped, good-humour in his voice. It seemed the man was impressed with his own cunning. He always got like that, when he succeeded in cooking up a particularly clever or gutsy plan.

Just like when he cooked up a new recipe in the kitchen.

“You can cover up in some of Lunafreya’s lengthier gowns.” Ravus told Prompto. 

“ _Gowns?”_ Prompto scrunched up his face in dismay. “As in _dresses?”_

Ravus peered at him like he was an utter simpleton. “Dresses is a synonym for gowns, yes.” He looked to Ignis with raised brows. “This one is not so bright. How low are recruiting standards in Lucis?”

“Couldn’t he at least wear pants and a shirt?” Noctis asked on the behalf of his crimson-faced best friend. If Prompto’s face flushed any redder, he’d probably explode. “It’s not taboo for girls to wear clothes _other_ than dresses and skirts. I hardly ever see girls dressed so fancy, even around the citadel.” Indeed, when given the opportunity, most of the females employed by the royal family preferred to dress in a practical manner.

“That is true.” Gladiolus admitted. “Even Iris doesn’t wear skirts all of the time.”

“Yes, but Luna seldom wears trousers.” Ravus rolled his eyes haughtily. “I thought her betrothed would pay more attention to her wardrobe.”

Noctis _did_ know. Luna had always preferred flowing dresses and airy skirts to the restrictions of tight denim and khaki. He’d never seen her dressed in trousers before, even when he read news articles about her travelling in muck-filled places. She was always impeccably dressed in a beautiful dress or skirt. Most frequently it was the former.

But Noctis didn’t want to make this any harder for Prompto.

“What Luna wears does not concern me. I’m more worried about how Prompto will cope being smothered by all of that silk.”

“The silk is light-weight. He won’t be weighed down. If anything, he should be worried about the _undergarments_. He can hardly wear regular male underclothes under Luna’s dresses, the outline will be visible.”

Prompto’s mouth emitted a string of choking sounds, and Gladiolus snorted.

“If his, um, _undergarments_ ,” Noctis used the formal word for ‘underwear’ somewhat awkwardly. “Will create an outline in a dress or skirt, won’t his, um…” He trailed off, his own cheeks suddenly feeling rather heated. “His...” He made a vague gesture at his own lap. _“Y’know.”_

Ravus frowned as he listened to Noctis waffle unintelligibly. “His penis.” He stated clinically, for clarification. “Is it his genitals that you are referring to?”

Gladiolus positively _chortled,_ even as Ignis sent him a disapproving look.

Prompto moaned in utter embarrassment, thumping his head down onto the table in defeat. That was it. They’d managed to break the chatty blond. Even as Gladiolus prodded his skull with a thick index finger, the male remained unmoving under the pressure. 

“Yeah.” Noctis looked at the ceiling, inwardly praying for Astral intervention. “Yeah, his dick.” Was this seriously his life? “How will he hide his dick?”

Gladiolus grinned wickedly, still poking Prompto’s head. “ _Castration.”_

Prompto gave a high-pitched squeak, indicating that he was still very much listening to the conversation, even if he had decided not to partake in the discussion any further.

“That is _quite_ enough, Gladio.” Ignis scolded severely. “Stop trying to frighten the poor lad. He’s terrified enough as it is.”

Gladiolus looked a little guilty, but still poked Prompto’s head one last time before withdrawing back to the chamberlain’s side.

“Castration is not our most viable option.”

“It isn’t an option _at all_ , Ravus.” Noctis glared. “You are not neutering my best friend!”

“Agreed. Genital mutilation is where I draw the line.” Ignis added.

“He can tuck.” Gladiolus’s recommendation has Ravus nodding, and Ignis rounding on him with a bemused expression. “What?” He asked, crossing his arms defensively.

“You seem knowledgeable on this matter.”

“I went to a drag show with some of the Kingsglaive in Lestallum once. Got myself nice and educated by one of the star performers.”

“Impressive.” Ignis wasn’t being sarcastic, either. “I’m sure that will be useful. We can also look up a tutorial online, if needed.”

But Ravus was already tapping away at his weirdly advanced Niflheim phone, and showing them a video on the large screen. “It is a tutorial.” He said, eyes skimming the description. “By a well-known transgender woman from Duscae. She uses a special brand of tape to tuck. Most educational.”

Prompto squeaked again.

“Of course,” Ignis said, seeming to comprehend Prompto’s mousy sounds. “That will require Prompto to shave. We can have one of Noctis’s personal stylists do that-“

“Oh hell no!” Prompto surfaced from the table with a snarl, his forehead bruised. “I am _not_ letting some stranger shave my cock and balls!”

“It will smart terribly if you don’t shave, Prompto.”

“Then I’ll do it myself, Iggy!”

“Have you any experience shaving?”

“Oh, another snide comment about my lack of facial hair!” Prompto glowered. “Real mature!”

“Prompto, I did not mean-“

“It can’t be that difficult! I’ve seen Gladio wax his chest before!”

“That’s using _wax._ Shaving is a little more intricate.”

“Well why don’t you shave _your_ genitals!?”

Ignis fell silent for several long moments, and Gladiolus started up his chuckling again.

Ravus sighed.

“Oh.” Prompto breathed after a moment. “Oh, okay. Um. Nice to know. Each to their own…”

Why did Gladiolus know that Ignis shaved his…?

Noctis sighed. He didn’t want to know.

“I grow tired with this discussion over pubic hair.” Ravus growled, becoming impatient as their planning went awry. “Ignis can help Prompto shave, and Prompto can use the tutorial to learn how to tuck. Unless anyone else here has particular expertise on that matter…” There was a long silence as his answer. “Very well. It is settled. We have roughly twelve hours to prepare for this charade. I expect Prompto to be waiting in Lunafreya’s quarters for breakfast tomorrow morning. I will escort him.”

“I’ll be there as well.” Noctis promised Prompto, even as his friend’s face leeched of all the colour it had gained. It was clear the blond was comprehending just how pointless protest was. A plan had been decided, and it was vital that he play along for it to be a success. “The moment anything goes wrong, I’ll get you out of there with some excuse.”

 “Some excuse?” Prompto’s smile is brittle, and the pallor of his flesh is sickly.

“How does explosive diarrhoea sound?”

“Heavenly.” Prompto’s smile turned a little more solid, and he gave an immature giggle.  

Ravus moaned, rubbing at his temples wearily. “Great. I have a five year old as a sister.”

“Does this mean I can call you big brother?”

Ah. _There_ was Noctis’s ray of sunshine, torturing an exhausted Ravus with jokes. Nothing seemed to keep him in low spirits for very long. It was one of the things ( _many_ things) that Noctis adored about him.

Adored. Now _that_ was what Ignis would call a ‘strong word’ in their vocabulary lessons.

“You will call me _nothing._ Your irritating voice will ruin our plan.”

“Oh, we wouldn’t want _that.”_ Prompto gave a sarcastic shudder. “Why are you guys acting so scared? _I’m_ the only commoner amongst us. If this goes wrong, it will be _my_ panties-clad ass up for execution. They’ll hardly be able to sentence any of _you_ to death.”

Noctis supposed he ought to feel more daunted by that, but he found himself too distracted by the image of Prompto’s ‘panties-clad ass’ to truly worry. What _colour_ would they be? Pink would clash horribly…

Okay, time to stop. This was entering a _whole_ _new_ realm of weird. He was fantasising about his best friend wearing his betrothed’s (the same betrothed who he considered a sister) _undergarments._

“Unfortunately, Prompto does have a point.” Ignis admitted somewhat reluctantly. “He will be judged as a co-conspirator to this plot if discovered, and he won’t have any political immunity like the rest of us. It will be hard to protect him.”

“Oh gee, thanks, Ignis. That _really_ takes a load off of my shoulders.”

“All the more reason to be cautious.” Predictably, Ravus does not seem deterred by the possibility of Prompto being executed. “If you follow the plan, you should stay safe.”

Suddenly, Gladiolus seemed reluctant. “Iggy, maybe this isn’t a good idea-“

“You guys are idiots if you think I’ll let my best friend get hurt!” Noctis snapped, angered by the mere idea. “So what if Prom’s a commoner? He’s still one of us! I’d sooner go to _war_ with Niflheim then let my best friend be killed!”

“That isn’t a very intelligent ruling decision to contemplate, Highness-“

Gladiolus shook his head sharply, and Ignis wisely fell quiet. There was no reasoning with Noctis when his friends were being threatened. He was young, and stubborn, and would follow through on his word without timely intervention and the right advice. 

“It won’t get to that.” Ignis said, a moment later. “We are getting ahead of ourselves.”

Prompto reached out a hand and squeezed Noctis’s own thankfully. “You always have my back.” He said, eyes wide and grateful. “But I wouldn’t want you going to war for me.”

Noctis flushed, and averted his eyes. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Don’t sweat it, man. I’d do the same for any of my friends.”

“Of course.” There was a hint of disappointment in Prompto’s eyes, but he smiled widely. “Wouldn’t want me thinking His Highness plays favourites.”

Gladiolus rolled his eyes so hard that Noctis only saw the whites.

Ignis shook his head.

Ravus’s mouth parted, and he let out an enlightened breath. “I see.” His voice was monotone, but there was new-dawning in his eyes as he looked between Noctis and Prompto. “Well, this will make things much easier.”

Noctis wasn’t stupid, and he blushed further at the insinuation.

And Prompto, bless his sweet heart, only cocked his head in confusion. “Make what easier?”

Thus began the craziest week of Prompto’s life.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is short, I know, but I thought I'd publish it regardless. Hopefully the fun I'm having writing this stays and I can make another chapter :D I already have a few things figured out...
> 
> Writing Ravus saying 'I grow tired with this discussion over pubic hair' was something I never thought I'd do, yet I giggled madly whilst doing it. 
> 
> (Please) tell me what you think of this chapter, if you would like, and a big THANK YOU to the people who commented on the last chapter. It's always more fun to write when you know other people appreciate it :)
> 
> Have a nice day/night wherever you are!
> 
> PS: The Kingsglaive attending drag shows in Lestallum is a total head-canon of mine :)


	3. In the hysterical realm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto cocked his head, squinting at his groin. The width and girth of his penis seemed to look a little different. A curious Moogle as a teenager had assured him that his size was a little above average, but the lack of hair made him seem a little bigger down there…
> 
> Well, that was nice, he supposed.
> 
> OR 
> 
> Prompto starts his transformation into Luna, to varying degrees of feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> A few things you should know about this story:
> 
> I have altered Prompto's appearance slightly in this, so it is easier for him to pass as Luna. Nothing DRASTIC though. He just doesn't have as much muscle mass, and is a little shorter. Honestly I kind of like the idea of cute, short Prompto...
> 
> He's still an adorable, freckly piece of sunshine though!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this chapter :)

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you faring well?” Ignis’s accent travelled crisply through the bathroom door Prompto was currently using as his sanctuary. He had locked, _and_ bolted it. “Remember to apply the aloe vera when you’ve finished the shaving. It will sooth the irritated skin. Have you cut yourself?”

Prompto didn’t reply for a moment, carefully running a razor over the underside of his scrotum. It was an odd, but not entirely unpleasant, sensation. The shaving cream made a soft _schlick_ as he glided the razor through it, and it sounded particularly loud in the silent room.

He’d been shaving his genitals for some time now, following Ignis’s instructions to perform the task slowly, to prevent slicing himself in such a delicate place. The chamberlain had told him that even the smallest cut _down there_ would sting terribly, and Prompto had no desire to have sore genitals when he had to focus on maintaining such an important charade.

Ignis, in his ever advising nature, had wanted to help him. It was a kind gesture, but the prospect of one his best friend’s assisting him in shaving such a private place was too disturbing for Prompto to contemplate. He’d never even been _naked_ around another person before, (sans his parents as a child) his self-confidence issues wouldn’t allow it. He worried about what people would think of the stretch marks around his stomach…

His friends were all so handsome and physically fit, Prompto didn’t want them to find him inadequate. Thus the lock and bolt, as Ignis had tried opening the door and entering more than once like a concerned mother.   

“I’m nearly done!” He called back, tapping the razor against the bowl that had been provided. The coarse blond hair came loose, falling into the soapy water below. The bath water had long turned cold, but he hadn’t bothered to re-fill it. Once he was done, he’d have a quick shower to rid himself of the scent of shaving cream, which was a strong, chemical smell that wrinkled Prompto’s nose.

After another few moments of concentration, Prompto deemed himself finished. He looked over his body with a critical eye (knowing Ignis would not hesitate to drag him back in here if he did a shoddy job) and was both satisfied (and somewhat enthralled) to see his completely smooth body. Ignis had demonstrated how best to use the razor (like a gentleman, apparently) on Prompto’s armpits, and it seemed he had followed his instructions perfectly.  

He hadn’t been this devoid of body hair since before he’d hit puberty, and now the only hair he had was resting on his head. And his eyebrows, of course, both of which had been dyed to match the new colour of his hair.

His eyes followed the length of his own body, lingering on the expanse of flesh that used to hold the blond trail that led from his bellybutton to his groin. He’d been rather proud of that patch of hair. It had made him seem manlier.

Prompto sighed. If it wasn’t for what was dangling between his legs, he would have appeared rather feminine, with his willowy form. He hadn’t yet attained as much muscle mass as his friends, due to not, you know, _training relentlessly all of his life._

He cocked his head, squinting at his groin. The width and girth of his penis seemed to look a little different. A curious Moogle as a teenager had assured him that his size was a little _above_ average, but the lack of hair made him seem a little bigger down there…

Well, that was nice, he supposed. He’d seen Noctis naked before, and the prince was pretty impressive downstairs, now he matched up a little bit more…

And, as annoying as it was to admit, he understood Ignis and Ravus’s insistence on the plan now. Prompto had always been a late-bloomer, and he’d always been a little smaller height wise than people first anticipated, since he had a tendency to wear high-platform boots to add a few extra inches…

Well, what he’d lost upstairs with his height, he’d gained a little more downstairs. It wasn’t a _total_ lose-lose situation.

He could resemble her accurately enough from his hips to his neck, at least, and with a well-placed veil and a convenient sore-throat, he could pass as Lady Lunafreya. All he had to do was try and adapt her mannerisms, and not screw up his behaviour.

“Prompto?”

Prompto rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to bite out a _‘yes, mom?’_ “Yeah?”

“I don’t hear the shower running. I know this is difficult for you, but we can’t afford to dillydally if you want any sleep tonight.”

Ha. Dillydally. Ignis used the funniest words sometimes.

“I was just making sure I got rid of all of the hair.” He explained, striding to the shower and squinting at the ridiculous array of knobs and nozzles. The shower he had in his apartment was a tiny, square cubicle. It had a hot and a cold knob (and the hot usually failed to work) and the tiles were cracked and moulding. This shower, though…

It was roomy enough to accommodate _at least_ six people, and the image of him and his friends sharing the space was enough to make him giggle madly.

There was more than one showerhead (some of which were removable), buttons that could adjust the water pressure, and decadent shelving, which was covered with Lady Lunafreya’s toiletries, small and medium sized purple and blue bottles, floating with unfamiliar substances. 

They were all organic products manufactured in Tenebrae. A far cry from the commercial crap Prompto purchased for cheap at the general store, the kind of stuff that would have him waking up with an extra head one day…

Luckily, Lunafreya’s belongings were labelled. It made things much easier. Prompto knew Ignis would be perturbed if he was forced to specify what each of them were. The chamberlain wasn’t known for his patience when they were on a tight schedule…

He applied the shampoo and conditioner to his hair meticulously, staring through the steam at the full-body mirror adjacent to make sure his natural golden roots weren’t showing through. The dye-potion he’d used had been temporary, so he’d have to continue re-applying it to maintain the charade. As it was, his hair remained the same shade as Luna’s, and he could move on to using the woman’s flowery scented body-wash.

It felt deliciously smooth and rejuvenating on his skin, and Prompto shuddered at the sensation. Now that his body was shaved, his skin seemed to have become more sensitive…

The rest of his shower went in the same fashion. He carefully used all of the washes and lotions, and by the time Lunafreya’s surprisingly complicated routine was concluded (did _all_ girls bother with this stuff?) Prompto was practically _glowing,_ skin clean and clear, hair glistening, all of his imperfections seemingly scrubbed away.

The reflection in the mirror, it didn’t even _look_ like him. It was kind of frightening.

He shuddered, and glanced away uncomfortably. He deliberately kept his eyes away from the mirror as he applied the aloe vera gel to his skin. Now that he was out of the shower and drying, his skin (especially downstairs) was beginning to itch somewhat. Luckily, the cool gel soothed his slightly inflamed skin, and a few squirts of moisturizer to his legs and face had him looking even more immaculate than before.

After wrapping himself in one of Luna’s bathrobes (and the fluffy fabric felt _heavenly)_ , Prompto opened the door, allowing a fretful Ignis to hurry into the bathroom, looking about worriedly for signs of blood or hacked off flesh. When he only found the expected mess from Prompto’s grooming, he relaxed, and turned a critical eye on the now silver-haired male. “Well,” He said, voice crisp. “Off with the robe. I need to inspect your job.”

Prompto’s jaw dropped, and he tightened the robe around his form. “Dude, no! I promise I did it right, okay? You don’t need to inspect me like some kind of animal!”

Ignis’s expectant look softened somewhat. “I don’t mean to dehumanise you, Prompto. I only want to make sure you’ve shaved adequately, and haven’t hurt yourself. You have a habit of hiding injuries, and I won’t have you bleeding in such sensitive spots.”

Damn. Why did he have to hide when he got hurt, again? Ever since the last time Prompto had hidden an injury from his training with Gladiolus (a cracked rib, and the shield had felt horrible about it, as well) Ignis had been adamant about looking him over for injuries or ailments despite his insistence that he didn’t need all of the fuss.

Prompto’s shoulders slumped. Ignis had a point, and the chamberlain wasn’t insisting on this to be cruel or deviant. He merely had Prompto’s best interests (and the plan) in mind. Besides, all he needed to do was show a short flash. He needn’t… _disrobe,_ entirely. “Fine. But I’m not taking the robe off entirely.”

“I’d expect no less of a compromise from someone so shy.”

Shy. Him, Prompto Argentum, the same dude who openly announced his urination needs and stuffed his face with little to no manners, was _shy._

It only made sense. He hated the stretch marks around his stomach, and the thought of showing them even to his closest friends made him feel nervous. He may have put on a show of confidence, but he had some pretty bad self-esteem issues he had yet to fully work out. That’s why he was working so hard with his training, so he could be a valued member of their party, and stand as an equal beside them all. Even playing the charade of Luna…

_I’m doing something no one else can. I’m **helping.**_

“Good work.” Ignis praised, when Prompto blushingly parted the robe, allowing the man to look him over with a strictly platonic interest. The man may as well have been a doctor, with how professional he examined Prompto’s nude form.

Prompto was glad it was the advisor looking out for him. Having Gladiolus or Noctis, or even worse _Ravus,_ check him over would have been horrifying.

“You’re a little red down there, but that isn’t abnormal. A good night’s rest, and you should be perfectly at ease.” He nodded permissibly, and Prompto hurriedly tied his robe closed. “I know it may seem impossible, but you should try and sleep well tonight. Tomorrow will be a long and trying day for you, both physically and mentally, and your body should be prepared.”

Prompto smiled wryly. “You never shy away from the truth do you, Iggy?” Indeed, the advisor could have consoled him with ‘everything is going to be okay’ and ‘things will be easier than you think’ but the man was blatantly honest, and would not try and assure him with false promises. Although it was daunting, Prompto appreciated it nonetheless. When Ignis gave him a regretful look, he waved a hand flippantly. “Don’t worry, I prefer it. Getting a good’s night rest will be difficult though…” His body was exhausted from such a straining day, but his mind was alight with anticipation and nerves. He knew what would win out, in the end, and it wasn’t his tiredness.

“A nervous disposition will typically result in a disturbed rest.” Ignis said, as if he were reciting from some kind of handbook about sleep deprivation. Maybe he was. He sighed, and rested a reassuring hand on Prompto’s slim shoulder. “I’ll make you a cup of herbal tea, with a spoonful of honey. That will help.”

Prompto tried, and failed, not to screw up his face. He wasn’t a fan of herbal tea. Or teas, in general. He was more of a root beer guy.

“I know you prefer soda, but sugar will hardly help you calm down.” Ignis said, and ushered Prompto out of the bathroom. “Put on your pyjamas and hop into bed. I’ll return momentarily with your tea.”

Prompto felt a little awkward. He’d never been doted on like this before, even when he was a kid. He’d always been left to fend for himself more or less…

Still, it was kind of nice. Even if dressing in one of Luna’s lacy nightdresses _was_ really weird. He usually wore a pair of frayed boxers and a cotton T-Shirt…

Needless to say, he was happy to be tucked under the covers when Ignis returned. Showing so much flesh felt uncomfortable to him…

Although the silk sheets did feel lovely on his smooth skin. He luxuriated in it.

“Here we are.” Ignis announced, handing Prompto a saucer, on which perched a delicate teacup printed with a Sylleblossom. When the blond raised his eyebrows, the advisor cleared his throat. “Lady Lunafreya’s love for the flowers extend to her teacups, it appears.”

“The Empire really brought her teacups along?” Prompto was both amused and a little disconcerted. He took a hold of the dainty handle, and drew the cup to his lips. The sip he took was small and hesitant, but the taste wasn’t as bad as he’d originally feared, the honey soothing his slightly irritated throat, scratchy from all of his protests earlier. He sighed when the warmth settled in his stomach, sparing Ignis a grateful smile. “Thanks, Iggy. This is nice.”

Ignis returned the smile, and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m glad. I know this ordeal must be stressful for you, but I assure you that we will get you through it. If it weren’t for your forbearance, our situation would be a lot more precarious, so thank you.”

“Hey, there’s no need to be formal. You know I’d do anything for you guys.” Prompto shrugged, almost causing tea to slosh onto the cerulean duvet.

Ignis’s eyes were knowing. “You’d do _more_ than anything for Noctis.”

“He’s my best friend.” Prompto reminded, a little confused by the statement. “Of course I would.”

Ignis smiled, and it was a little secretive. “I see. Well, I should be retiring to my quarters for the evening. We have an eventful day tomorrow, and I have an early meeting with King Regis and the council regarding our little plan.”

Prompto groaned at this. “Great. _More_ people privy to my humiliation.”

“Those dignitaries will be grateful for your actions, Prompto.” Ignis said with the utmost certainty. “If they aren’t, I shall deal with them personally. You are a brave young man. Braver than many who covet the king’s favour. Understand?”

Prompto nodded, a little surprised at how adamant Ignis was being. “Okay.”

“Okay is right.” Ignis nodded, and patted Prompto’s shoulder one last time. “Sleep well, Prompto. I will be here to help you prepare yourself tomorrow morning, as will Iris.”

Prompto practically _squirmed_ with embarrassment. It was one thing for people to see him in a dress and think he was Luna, another for someone he knew and respected to witness it firsthand as well. “Why Iris?”

“Because she is the only one of us who has experience applying concealer and makeup.” Ignis answered. “And perfume, as well. She’ll help cement over the little cracks we may overlook. Your feminine façade must be flawless.”

Flawless. It was never a word Prompto would associate with himself.

He decided not to argue.

He was going to need all the help he could get.

Even if it hurt his pride, he’d do it for his friends.

For Noctis.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a rough plan for some more chapters (maybe) but I don't know how quick I will be publishing any. I kind of feel like writing something Christmasy since it's around that time of year...
> 
> Anyways, THANK YOU to everyone who has commented and encouraged me to keep going. I really appreciate your feedback :)
> 
> I hope you are all having a good day/night!

**Author's Note:**

> Is it a little more realistic now? No? Oh well...
> 
> Prompto will definitely have to go through some effort to disguise himself as Luna, if I end up writing another chapter to this...
> 
> I like seeing Luna in love (even if it's not with Noct) which is why I chose that excuse for her absence. Who is her mystery suitor, though? ;)
> 
> Tbh I haven't really decided yet, but I'm sure the answer should be in the tags somewhere, when I make up my mind. Any suggestions? 
> 
> Anyhow, I'm debating whether to continue this, so tell me if you think I should! I had fun writing this, even though I should probably be working on other things...
> 
> Have a nice day/night wherever you are!


End file.
